Making Up With A Power Apology
We never really got any training on how to apologize powerfully. Sure, all of us know how to say I’m sorry. But if you did your ex wrong and now you want them back, you’re going to need to say something much more powerful than I’m sorry.
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There are much more impactful ways of apologizing, however. When you’ve been dumped by your ex for wronging them in some way, you will need to use what can be called a Power Apology.
A power apology can get your ex from anger to forgiveness sometimes in minutes when done correctly. Here are some of the important steps involved in making an apology that can get your ex back:
The first step in a Power Apology is to own up to what you did wrong. Don’t offer a bunch of stories or try to blame your ex “you were cold to me and I was drunk!” Fessing up to what you did wrong is powerful, it lets you mate know that you understand the core problem.
The second thing is to mirror their hurt feelings. You say something like “Hon, I know I made you feel betrayed and unloved and very say by cheating on you…” This is a very powerful form of emotional intelligence. When you mirror their hurt feelings, they will feel like you really do understand the impact of your actions.
The third thing is to let them vent and get their hurt feelings off their chest. You listen and let them tell you how they feel about what you did. You just want to make them feel heard and understood, so you listen and don’t defend or try to explain yourself.
To understand more about the power of venting, you can check out the information at a site on Relationship Intelligence.
If you have followed these first three steps, you are well on your way to making an apology that will get accepted and lead to forgiveness. By this point you have not tried to blame or defend yourself to your ex for what you did wrong. You have been an adult and taken responsibility. At some level they will respect this.
Then you have surprised them by mirroring their feelings, so they are feeling like you understand them. And finally, you have listened to them, let them vent and get things off their chest.
Once you have done these three things, you are now ready to actually apologize. And your apology will much more likely be accepted, which can lead your ex back into your arms fast.